TTWA:  Email to parents

TTWA Assignment:  Part 1) You are a coach who has just cut an 11-year-old girl from the team.  Write an email to her parents, explaining why.  Part )  Now you are the school principal.  Write an email to the coach who cut the girl from the team, explaining why he is being fired.

Emailing parents is a necessary but irksome job for teachers.  The risk to upsetting someone is rather high.  I once used the word ‘generosity’ to describe a bumping a deserving student from a C+ to a B-.  The parent then replied a day later that her child ‘worked hard’ and did not need any of my ‘generosity.’  Sometimes you learn the hard way.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Banner,

I am writing to inform you that I may cut Elizabeth from the soccer team later today.  Although it is the school’s policy to accept any and all students who chose to try out for a team, I suggest she choose another extracurricular for the remainder of the season such as pottery club or the physics team, activities that require minimal physical exercise.  For most students, running across the soccer field on a spring day is pantamount to pure joy; however, Beth appears frightened of  . . . well, excercizing.  She seems willing to make the effort, but frequently halts to rest half-way through laps.  I have asked Beth if she was diagnosed with asthma, but she has denied this repeatedly.  Other times, she will refuse to fight for the ball, quickly passing to other players when given the chance to score or submiting to larger oppponents when defending.  Yesterday, I witnessed her leaping out of the way in a scrimage match, allowing the opposing side to score.  Frankly, I wonder if she is afraid of other children.  I do realize that playing soccer is a goal for Beth, but based on the evidence which I’ve seen I do not believe she would be a good fit on this team.  We will give Beth one opporutnity to prove that she possesses the aggression necessary for this team.  I have a special regime perfect for drawing out anger and aggression from meeker children.  If this doesn’t work, nothing will.  

Yours truly,

Coach Kyle 

Dear Faculty,

We are pursuing a replacement coach for Kyle active immediately.  You may all remember that Kyle had his own leg stuffed down his throat last week, after attempting ‘aggression therapy’ with the Hulk’s daughter, Elizabeth Banner.  Kyle being a late addition to the staff; it was never explained to avoid irritating or angering Elizabeth in any way.  Doctors report that Kyle is responsive to therapy (both physical and mental) and may walk again after some sugery.  I’m also told that almost all of his sneakers have been removed from his lower digestive tract.  Please avoid mention any of this incident to Beth: she is rather embarassed by the whole ordeal.


Principal Johnson


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