Snow Recovery Plan

We stand at the edge of a storm, the third in the last week, predicted to unload another six inches of snow overnight.  Like prison bars, the icicles stretch far outside the windows down to the lower drifts, which swollen with the piles deposited from the roof consumes much of the view of the back porch and my lil’ sister if she should venture outside.   The blizzards of the last few weeks were efficient tyrants, burying all of the driveway, several of vehicles,  and most of the house, locking its occupants inside together for a week.  And still it continues to fall.  After only a few days, the kids grew tired of the house walls and the blank empty landscape outside.  Pining for girlfriends and jobs, the boys race outside with snow shovel and plow as soon as the last flakes fell, eager for the return of status quo.

The Prison Bars

The Prison Bars

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Word Play

Tonight while Mom and Dad braved the cold and frigid winds to attend a wedding, the kids and I tucked into our bed clothes and played some board games. Our game of choice was Balderdash, a wonderful game of creativity lies, archaic words, and fake definitions. Needless the say, I love this game, whose principal purpose involves creating definitions for obscure words and then trying to uncover the true definition among the false. Players receive points not only for guessing the correct definition, but for tricking others into choosing your own. Unfortunately, not everyone takes the game all that seriously. Between the following definitions can you guess which ones are fabricated, authentic, and one of my bored brothers’:

Amaranth

· an imaginary flower that never dies

· love of ancient Chinese folklore

· a chemical used that was believed to make someone fall in love with another goat

Ollecranon

· the funnybone

· an element used to convert crude oil to gasoline

· a person from Olekron

Tragelnaschalia

· excessive body odor emanating from the armpits

· a disease infecting most sailors who have traveled to the Gold Coast of West Africa

· the gay guy from the female sex

Oneirocritic

· an interpreter of dreams

· black credit

· one of those pricks who still refuse to acknowledge the greatness that is Boondock Saints

Thrunter

· a 3-year-old female sheep

· a person looking for a foreign object

· a hyper rabbit (‘Hey, they call me Thrunter ‘cause I like to thrunt!)

Zori

· a thronged Japanese sandal

· the wife of Zorro

· outfits that Chinese prostitutes wear

Ennead

· nine of anything

· an epic sea voyage

· someone who is in need of something, ya heard?

Mancinism

· favoring the left hand

· the belief that the world is flat

· extreme affection for a mannequin or doll